no, he came in my armpit
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
