dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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