I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The power of my boobs compel you
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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