I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i out mim tonsoeep
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
