hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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