i can't believe i had my finger in that
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
