The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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