I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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