Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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