I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
