Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
