The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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