Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
