She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
