I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
