I should be sponsored by Trojan
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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