he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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