But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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