You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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