My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
whose parrot is this?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
