I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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