my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
