I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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