i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
