i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
