physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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