haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
