So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
