I don't think brook has ever known best
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
