cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
