She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
