I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
