I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
