So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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