my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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