Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
