Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
third nipple confirmed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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