i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
