The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize