Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
