you win again, gameday.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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