As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
