I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she peed on how many people?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
