Will you blow on my dice?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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