You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
