She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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