is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
