I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
