I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize