k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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