I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize