Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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