I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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