Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
