It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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