Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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