he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
