Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
