My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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