so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
