Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
